Building Conflict Resolution Skills for Effective Leadership

Welcome back to Leading Through Relationship Building. We've already covered Module 1, which is building a network of relationships, and Module 2, which is building emotional intelligence. And in building all these relationships and using our EI along the way, we probably shouldn't be surprised that, as effective leaders, we are going to run into some conflict.

Why? Because people are people. And we are, in Module 3, going to be addressing this, as our module is titled Building Conflict Resolution Confidence. Now, we know that strong conflict resolution skills are essential if you want to be an effective leader.

And we can agree that when we resolve tense situations and when we help colleagues get along with one another, when we produce quality solutions out of all of that, we are more valuable as a leader. We know that when we implement specific ways to manage workplace conflict, which is inevitable, we're part of fostering a more positive organizational culture. I think we can agree on all that.

But when I ask participants in my classes, leadership classes, how they feel about the word conflict? I can tell you that regularly, I have a large portion of my participants who say conflict. That's something I like to avoid. Well, that's not exactly the best approach for us as effective leaders.

So what we are going to do today is take a look at some of the common sources of conflict. There are a variety of conflict resolution styles or approaches, and we are going to, again, investigate that. We certainly want to be developing ourselves in this conversation of conflict resolution.

And then look at effective techniques for dealing with difficult people who are oftentimes the source of the conflict. So let's go ahead and get started on that. And we're going to see that there are a variety of definitions that can surround the word conflict, workplace conflict.

So, just going to the dictionary, and in this case, it's the Oxford Dictionary, you're going to see four definitions here that really look a bit different in terms of type and degree. So the very first one is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one. OK, so it hangs around, it lasts a while.

Alongside that, a prolonged armed struggle. Well, that sounds to me like a battle. And when I read things like prolonged armed struggle, I'm pretty visual.

And in my head, I see the medieval knights on their steeds with all their chain mail and whatever, and their weapons on their horses, moving forward at each other. Well, I don't know if I want to use that in the workplace, but I guess it could be a prolonged struggle that we're having. The third one now sounds very different to me, a condition in which a person experiences a clash of opposing wishes or needs.

I'm sure that's a valid definition, but quite honestly, just because I clash with you, does that mean we are in a workplace conflict? Maybe, maybe not. An incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles, or interests. All right.

And I even look at that, and I'm thinking, oftentimes I am in what is perceived as a conflict. But when we really start sharing our views, they're not always as incompatible as what we thought they thought. So maybe the word that I would insert there is a perceived initial.

Incompatibility. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not real, I don't know. But what I do know is that if we are talking about workplace conflict, it's usually a state of discord, something feels off, and it's caused by actual or perceived opposition.

Again, we have to explore that, do we not? Of needs, values, and interests between people working together. And so I do look at that state of discord, and that's usually an indicator to me that I have to at least take a look at this situation and see if it's a conflict that is getting in the way of relationships, morale, productivity, trust. Any of those things that require me to address them as a leader.

So we know that conflicts can really take many different forms in organizations. It could be the clash between formal authority and power, and those individuals and groups that happen to be affected by that. There could be disputes over how resources should be divided or how the work should be done, how long and hard people should work.

There may be jurisdictional or territorial disagreements that could occur between individuals or departments, or between unions and management. There may be subtler forms of conflict, and those could center around rivalries, jealousies, personality clashes, role definitions, struggles for power, and favor. It sounds like a soap opera, doesn't it? But there could also be conflict within individuals.

Between competing needs and demands, individuals could respond in very different ways. So what we do know, and this is probably the most specific I get in a class, conflict is inevitable. People are people, and people are together.

Conflict is inevitable. So what we know, though, is that there are many types of conflict. We just saw that in the definition and in some of the background I gave on that.

But I think we also have to look at what the sources of conflict, or the causes of conflict, are. And you'll see that we have five here. And as we're looking at these, I want you to be thinking about what you have experienced. What do you see most of in the organization? Which ones are easier to resolve? Which ones are harder to resolve? As we go through this.

So let's start over on the left-hand side and talk about the causes of relationship conflict. Well, not surprisingly, we're going to see things there, such as poor communications. Maybe it's strong emotions.

Oh, that's why that EI piece is really important for us. Stereotyping that we interact with others based on our belief system about who they are, because of a group they represent. And it may be repetitive, negative behavior.

All right. OK, it might really be a difficult personality who continually is dismissive and negative in the workplace, not just one time, but this is who they bring into the workplace pretty regularly, as an example. S, the causes of relationship conflict.

I think I notice a lot in organizations that have a culture that allows and permits that. Now, that's not the only source of conflict. The second thing mentioned here is data, data conflict, and that could center around a lack of information or misinformation.

There may be different points of view about how much the data matters. Is this important data or unimportant data? Relevant data, irrelevant data, data. And then any number of people could be looking at the same data and have a completely different interpretation of the data.

But is this more about the facts? What facts do we have? What facts do we use? Which facts are important? Which facts are unimportant? Which ones matter? And how do we see these facts? How do we apply these facts? The third is around causes of interest, conflict, and conflict of interest. And so in this case, there may be perceived or actual.

Again, a lot of this could be in one's mind, and it needs to be worked out, or it could be real. A competition of interests. What I want is what you want, and we both can't have that.

It might be about procedural interests. What's the best way to do things? It might be about psychological interests. Which of these approaches is going to give me more power and influence? Which of these are going to be more comfortable for me? Which ones are going to meet my needs as I come into the workplace in terms of who I am as a person? As we move over to the fourth one, now we're about structural conflict.

And this could center around unequal authority. All right. Well, your title is bigger than my title.

And so I can kind of see where this is going in the workplace. And that could also lead to unequal control of resources. While the resources may look like they should be equally divided among, let's say, five sectors within in this workplace.

And there might be some people who have more control over the resources than others. And so it's not so equal. It may be about time constraints.

We don't have time to talk this out and work out who gets what in a most meaningful way. We just have to make a decision based on. The last one causes a value conflict.

Well, when you get to this one now, this one definitely looks different than the first four. And this is where we're saying, well, we have different ways of viewing life. We have different ideologies.

We have a different worldview. Anything that makes up our personal belief system and how we see the world could come into play here. We could even use different criteria for evaluating ideas.

And as we're doing that, criteria might be my values, my standards, what I consider to be my morale-based decisions. So think of these causes of value conflict. Well, my values sit real deep in me, don't they? They should be guiding and directing what I do all day, every day. These are my personal principles that I choose to live by.

And is it possible that my personal principles could be in conflict with yours? Yeah. Yeah. Now, what I will say is there can be a certain level of existence in an organization where my personal values are different than yours.

As long as those values aren't in play on the subject that we're dealing with within the workplace. And so I might have some very strong values that dictate what I would do or not do in terms of ethics, my personal belief systems, my own sense of what's the most moral thing to do here. But those aren't coming into the question in the workplace.

And so we can live peacefully with different ways of seeing life to a very large degree. If, however, though it comes into is what we're doing here moral, is what we are doing here ethical? Is what we're doing here obey? Does it bring in legal consideration? Anything that gets into hold it. I don't know if I can do what you're asking me to do.

Because that is not consistent with what I believe as a person. That's where we're going to get some serious conflict. And at the very least, oftentimes, a very serious internal conflict.

How can I continue to live in an organization that keeps asking me to do something that I think is fundamentally wrong? OK. Now, these five are pretty, I think, a pretty good representation of the types of causes that we can experience in the workplace. But they certainly have different degrees of impact, do they not? And different degrees of easier to harder to resolve.

And so as we go to exercise 3.1, I want you to consider exactly that. Which sources of conflict are the easiest to resolve in the workplace you live in? And why do you think so? Which sources of conflict, on the other hand, are more difficult to resolve? And why? Give me a few minutes to think about that.