Emotional Intelligence vs IQ: Understanding Key Leadership Skills

Welcome back. Let's see if the list you generate lines up at all with what we have here. So, let's take a look first of all at emotional intelligence.

What are the characteristics of EI? Well, it's going to include understanding emotions when we have high EI. Now, I already suggested that in our opening that it's about being able to realize that emotions are at play, and we can identify them appropriately. When we have high emotional intelligence, we rely on those things that we call soft skills: our communication skills, our ability to show empathy, our ability to build relationships, our ability to support and encourage others, and our ability to solve problems in a collaborative effort.

Think of these as smart skills. Think of these as people skills. When we use emotional intelligence, we are convinced by reasoning.

Well, what does that mean? Well, I might say, well, wouldn't you prefer this outcome over that outcome? And let's examine this a little bit further. So, I would be building a case, let's say, trying to convince someone that maybe one line of approach is better in the long run than another. I'm persuading through my reasoning.

I think this last one is very important, and you probably found it in your research. We can learn how to increase our emotional intelligence, and that's why we are doing things like having a module on EI. Certainly, you can take a full-blown course on EI, you can practice EI, and you can get better at EI, and so that's our very good news for today. Let's compare these now to IQ.

IQ is now about understanding information. Understanding information, understanding data, understanding statistics, understanding technical skills, understanding how to do things. Intelligence quotient or IQ relies on hard skills, and those are the technical competence skills that we are speaking to.

Those are the critical thinking skills, which are very important. Those are the problem-solving tools and techniques, let's say, that you would be choosing to use. Uses facts, uses data, uses research to prove a point, and again, very important.

Please don't hear me say that these things are unimportant, but this is a very, a 1-2-3-4 ABCD more approach to information and applying that information. And look at this. It's our innate ability that does not change with age or experience.

Now, the best example I can give you is just to think through your own experience. Have you, somewhere in your work experience or even school experience, any other experience, had a leader, a former leader, who was maybe the smartest person you've ever met? Really, really, really intelligent and yet weren't necessarily great leaders of people. On the other side of that, have you had a leader that you considered one of the best of the best of the best, and they knew and you knew they weren't the smartest person in the room, but they knew how to relate to all the people in the room and get the best out of all the people in the room.

Those examples, just as a starting point, give you an idea as to why we want to go beyond just saying what's somebody's IQ, which they're kind of stuck with because that's what they were born with, and expand our conversational and emotional intelligence because, again, those skills are going to be better predictors of your success as a leader. So, as we move forward, let's take a look at what EI is made up of. What are the components of EI? And we're going to explore these in the next few moments.

So, it's one thing to look at what emotional intelligence is composed of, but somewhere along the line, we have to put it into action. Otherwise, it doesn't matter. And it has to be actions that are productive and that contribute to your leadership skills.

And I'm sure that you're realizing, as we're talking about this, this isn't about necessarily having a title as a leader. It's about maybe you as an informal leader, one who does have a lot of respect and influences the behavior and choices of the people around them. So, when you develop really high skills in these two components, you'll see that managing emotions is the first circle added to building good relationships.

That's why we talked about module one so much. With all of your colleagues, at any level that they might be, is going to have a result. And the result overall, when we manage our emotions and build good relationships, is greater clarity in thinking and higher quality in problem solving and decision making.

I would be hard-pressed to continue talking so much about the value of EI if it didn't produce something that was of value to the organization. So, the organization has to see some value in this, does it not? Ah, I think the organization benefits when there is clearer thinking and higher-quality problem-solving as a result. Now, let's take these components apart and zero in, first of all, on what it means to manage emotions through self-awareness and self-management.

And then, what does it mean to build good relationships from an EI point of view? So, let's begin with that first component. It's made up of managing emotions. Well, we've already suggested that in the definitions that we've been using for EI.

It's two parts, if you will. The first part is about our self-awareness. When we are highly self-aware, we have the ability to accurately assess our own emotions and the underlying behaviors that occur through those emotions.

Let me see if I can give you an example. Maybe somebody in the workplace, and they're not very professional in how they say this, they may say to me, You know what? You turn your work in late all the time. All the time.

Well, I might immediately feel defensive, okay, because I'm not late all the time. I'm not late most of the time. I just happened to be late last week in turning that in.

And I might get really defensive. Well, why did I get so defensive? Well, because way back when I had a boss who always said to me, You always, and it was something negative after that. So, I'm reacting to this other person as if it were that previous boss that I thought was one of the more difficult bosses I'd ever worked for.

So, it's a trigger. Okay. So, my underlying behaviors are triggered, and my emotions are triggered, let's say, possibly by a past experience.

That's just one example. Also, part of self-awareness is that you know your strengths as well as those things you need to work on. And I think there's a beauty in EI in my ability to say, you know, I'm pretty good at that over there.

In fact, I'm really good at it. That's one of my strengths. That's my wheelhouse sitting right over there, and I use it well.

But alongside that, I can also say, and you know what? This is why I'm relying on you, because this over here is not my strong suit. I'm working on it, and I'm working really hard to get it better. But you know what? If we're going to be honest, I have to rely on you and the way that you have developed the skill in that, because you're probably always going to be better at it than I am.

And that's okay. I love the third bullet, which is that you have a sense of humor about yourself. You know what? There's a time and a place to just have fun and laugh and then move on.

I often tell the story, I'm often asked, actually, you know, what's one of the most embarrassing moments you've ever had as a public speaker? Well, it would be the day, and it's a long story that I won't share here. It would be the day that I stepped off the dais and face planted into the lap of a gentleman sitting in the first row of a theater-style room. Yeah, that was bad.

That was really bad. But you know what? You've got to get up and you've got to keep going. And the best I could do was ease the stress in the room by making a joke out of it and then quickly recovering and moving forward.

Yeah, have a sense of humor. It really eases tensions for sure. You know what? Self-confidence is important.

Now, I'm not talking about arrogance. I'm talking about self-confidence. That knowing that in your role, let's say as an emerging leader, you, in fact, can successfully influence the behavior and choices of those people around you.

That your presence in the workplace adds value. I think there's something very encouraging and strong, and really what I'm looking for in a leader when I see that level of self-confidence. But it's lined up with all those other things.

That same self-confident person can identify their strengths as well as the glitches they need to work on. They know they're not perfect. They will be making mistakes.

They can laugh at that and move on. I think it's much easier to follow someone who is showing me that level of self-awareness that includes self-confidence. Now, there's a second part to managing emotions.

You'll see it is self-management. What that means here is you consistently manage your emotional reactions to situations and people. Let's go back to that example I just shared with you.

My emotional reaction is to get defensive. You just pushed one of my buttons. However, I don't react as if I'm defensive.

I listen to what the person just said and maybe I try to find some piece of truth in what they've said, agree to that, and then move on with what you are doing and what you am offering. So, I don't overreact. I don't react unprofessionally.

While I'm feeling that emotion, I'm managing it in a way that is a better contribution to the conversation, the discussion, and ultimately the relationship. Alongside that, you know what? We've got to stay flexible and direct our behaviors positively. Our organizations go through a lot of change, do they not? This year was no exception.

If all we ever did was say, Isn't this awful? This is the worst. I can't move forward because no, that's not what we need in our leaders. We need a leader to be able to say, okay, well, well, this is a challenge and it's a big one, but you know what? We can reroute, and we can figure out what to do with this, and we can continue to add value.

Certainly, life and organizations have certain amounts of uncertainty, and that uncertainty can obviously trigger emotions, but we look at our emotions, and then we move to look towards options. What are some things that we can do as we are dealing with situations that might be fearful, that create fear? Situations that might create stress? Situations in which people really feel extremely challenged or undervalued? You know what? Those things happen, and yet the EI leader is able to tolerate the uncertainty to carve a path forward. I think that last bullet is one of the reasons why an EI leader is somebody who is the calm in the storm.

They can see things through without devastatingly falling apart. They are calm. They are the one who creates a path forward even though everything else looks chaotic.

They are the ones who encourage others to hang in there with them and keep moving. This is all about you as a person. Managing emotions is a personal competence that you bring into the setting.

Really focus on being the person that people can rely on to stay calm and focused, even when it looks like everybody else is falling apart. That would be a huge indicator of your high EI.